Shrekposting After Another 8 Hour Shift
Shrekposting After Another 8 Hour Shift
Blog Article
Man, this job really sucks. I'm so dead I could just lay down. All I wanna do is chug some coffee and stare at the ceiling for days. But first, gotta share a few Lord Farquaad memes to cope with the struggle. Life is a real journey, man.
This corporate ladder you see? It's just a staircase leading to Shrek's swamp
Sure, they tell you it's all about ambition, about climbing to the top and ruling your little domain. They paint a picture of luxury, but let me tell you, that shiny penthouse suite with its panoramic view? It's just another lonely tower in Shrek's swamp.
You'll be long shifts, meetings that go nowhere, and a never-ending parade of backstabbing coworkers. Your goals? They'll get swallowed up in the mire like another unfortunate tourist who wandered into this wretched swamp.
- And don't even get me started on the dress code. You think your blazers will impress anyone down here?
- Trust me, you'll be wishing for a good pair of rain gear
If ever you think about climbing that ladder, pause and ask yourself: Is this really what I want? Or am I just blindly following the system, only to end up like every other lost soul in Shrek's swamp?
Subject Line: "Important Meeting" - My Soul: "Like an Onion, Shrek."
You know that feeling when your manager sends out an email with/about/regarding a meeting and the subject line just screams "urgency/importance/significance"? Yeah, well, my soul is currently experiencing something akin to a fictional onion. Layered with anxiety/dread/a healthy dose of WTF, each layer reveals/hides/uncovers another questionable/confusing/intriguing detail about the meeting's purpose.
Is it a performance review? A team-building exercise/activity/nightmare? Or, perhaps, the unveiling of a revolutionary/disastrous/slightly off-brand new company initiative? Honestly, at this point, I wouldn't be surprised if it was a meeting about how to best prepare for/survive/celebrate an alien invasion.
- I crave coffee. Like, a metric ton of coffee.
- Perhaps it's wise to busy with something else.
- Will my soul ever recover?
This Spreadsheet Could Be Done Faster With Superhuman Might
Look, this spreadsheet is a real pain. I'm drowning in data and formulas, my brain is fried, and the deadline is looming like a hungry goblin. It would just need some serious muscle to get this thing done. I'm talking about the more info kind of power that only an ogre. This ain't a job for your average office worker, this is heavy lifting material.
- How about a legion of trolls?
- This spreadsheet needs a forklift
- I'm gonna need caffeine injections
Weekend? Nah, I'm Just Going Back to My Layer Cake of Papers
The idea of relaxation this weekend is just ridiculous. My desk is currently a monument of documents, each one demanding my attention. Honestly, I'm more excited about conquering this stack of assignments than I am about savoring some Netflix. Maybe a Saturday session of caffeine and scanning is more my speed.
The Grind Makes Me Feel Like a Mule in the Office Jungle
I'm chained in this corporate rat race. Every day feels like I'm trundling along, just another horse in the system. I'm exhausted from dragging this load day after day. I long about finding a better life.
- Maybe I'll become a farmer and actually actually get to spend time with creatures who are happy in their environment.
- {Or maybe I'll travel the world and finally find peace.
- {Whatever it is, I know I can't stay here forever.{ It's just not worth it.